LOVE X 3

Count yourself fortunate if you know love. It takes many forms and knows no boundaries, yet can be boiled down to a singular moment, a breathlessness, a skipped heartbeat, a chill running down the spine. I am extremely lucky to know three loves: Family, Music, and Surf. Not at all equal, however, as I'd be hard-pressed to put them into a logical order. But love takes time and effort. It needs a determined dedication to grow, to expand, to fill those empty, dark corners we all have inside of us. And sometimes, one love can step on another's toes. It's easy to take Family for granted, beacuse, let's face it; even if you're a total dick, they're still your Family. It's not a choice, it just is. The late nights I spend in hazy bars and the early mornings i spend floating in the ocean, my thoughts are of KC and Jackson. 'One more wave and I'll go in and have breakfast with them.' 'If I leave right after the second set, I could be lying next to her by 2 a.m..' But give me that odd weekend without a show or waves and I'm a frothing maniac, pacing around the house, trying so desperately to contain the Rogers' rage (That's a whole other post. Maybe someday..). Sometimes I think I just need to balance my Loves better. Turn down the occassional show and take the wife out for sushi. Go surfing and let Jackson watch another cartoon. But the grass is always greener. I want what I do not have and when I get it, I want something else. Sometimes I think I should ditch one of my Loves altogether, but come on. How could I not surf? How could I not play music? How could I live without my Wife and Child? Passion comes with a price and I am exhausted much of the time. Like I'm stretched too thin, like a favorite t-shirt, the logo long ago flaked off, the shoulders threadbare, the collar stained and yellowed. It's still your favorite shirt but you can't really wear it anywhere.

I'm playing alot of music these days.
I'm always striving to be a better husband and father.
I haven't surfed in a month.